Gravity
by frostedlemoncoward
Summary: It's been four years since high school, and it's time to come home. I rewrote it a bit. the first chapter is now two chapters and a third'll be up soon. It hasn't fundamentally changed, but it has improved, at least I hope it has.
1. Ashes, Ashes We All Fall Down

**Title**: Gravity

**Pairings**: Breyton, Naley, maybe Lundsey later

**Rating**: Uhm. PG, I guess? I'm never good at this.

**Disclaimer**: You know the drill, I'm not the owner or originator.

**Summary**: It's time to come home.

**Spoilers/Warnings**: Breyton. That means f/f. So. Y'know.

**Author's Notes**: No beta so all mistakes are mine. I took a little longer in updating this cause I had to go through and edit it a lot, I wasn't happy with it, and I think it's a bit better now. I should really start finishing things before I post them but..eh. It works I suppose. Ah well. Hope you enjoy and sorry about the WIP-ness of this.

-

God, it's been forever since I was here. The flight back to Tree Hill had been the only flight that I'd ever really been nervous for. I'm not sure what I was nervous about, or scared of. No, that's not true. I know exactly what has me scared, what's making me want to run from here. Might as well be honest to myself, especially since the whole point of me coming home is to deal with all the things I've been running from. Oh and what things they are.

"Home." I say it softly as I file out of the plane with everyone else. Home. Home was safe and secure and happy. What was home?

"Brooke!" My head snaps up in surprise. I didn't realize I was already...I freeze. Then her arms are around me and I'm breathing her in. Oh. Home. Oh.

"Peyton!" I think if we hugged each other any harder we'd break a rib or two. I think subconsciously that I'm trying to pull her through her skin into mine. It was always so much better than mine. God, it's good to be home. Home. Oh, no. No. She's pulling back.

"God, it's good to have you back, Brooke. My flight came in just an hour ago, and I thought I could hang around and wait for your flight too..." Her arm is draped on my shoulder and mine is around her waist as we walk to the baggage claim. Just like high school. Oh. Shit. What has she been talking about? We've stopped walking and she's staring at me, really looking at me for the first time in years and that thought hurts. I grab her and hug her close. I think I hear a pop from her back before I let her go. She reaches up and wipes away a stray tear from my face. Oh. Oh dear.

"You ok?" It's been too long, I want to tell her. I want to spill everything and lay it all out. Instead I just nod and tell her a piece of the truth.

"Now. It's good to be back, Pey." She smiles and I melt inside. God, my P. Sawyer always did have a direct line to my heart.

"How bout we find some boys to get..." I smile as I lift my hand with a flourish, to let her know that I still pack my bags the same way. She laughs and looks at me. I blink when I realize I can't tell what she's thinking and she looks away. At least we can still function together. Maybe this disconnect is just four years apart. God, how did we, how did I manage that? My mother pops up in my head and it makes sense. Nothing else exists when she's around, just work and this need to please her, to make her love me in a way she never can or will.

"Somethings never change. Did you really have to bring the whole Clothes over Bro's line here?" I smack her lightly laughing. This feels good. This feels like old times, like home. Home.

"No silly! Just...what I needed. You know me, when have I ever understood the concept of packing lightly?" She squeezes my hand before telling me to wait a moment. I stand and try to breathe. I didn't think it'd be this hard, being here again. She turns slightly and waves Lucas over. Lucas. Lucas and Peyton and smiling and oh. Oh. Again, I think? Again. She turns back to me beaming and pulls me closer.

"I asked him to come help with the luggage, I kind of figured that you'd pack...normally." Her voice trails off slightly at the end and I stiffen and melt at the small wisps of breath that tickle my ear. She'd leaned in and whispered into my ear. God, how can she not know what that does to me after all this time? I was worried that I'd lost all my resolve and discipline away from her, from them, but apparently I still had some left. Thank god for small miracles.

"Oh." I can barely manage a one syllable word, but I still feel accomplished. I haven't broken yet, there will be time for that later. I can deal with this. I'm tough. I'm strong. My heart can break again later. It was stupid to think that we were coming back for each other. Of course it was Lucas, otherwise she'd have come to New York. It couldn't have been me. God, how had I been so stupid?

"Hey girls." He's smiling and hugging us both and I'm surprised at how much I've missed this boy and all his heartbreak. He still smells the same. He pulls away and gives us the once over and nods appraisingly.

"Hey, Brooke, you know that thing they say, about pictures and tv never doing anyone justice?" I nod, confused. "Totally true. You look amazing." He pulls me into a hug and holds me tight as he tells me he missed me. Huh. Boys. Still haven't figured them out.

"Hey, what am I? Canned tuna?" I laugh and wrinkle my nose a little.

"Well. Sweetie...I hate to break it to you, but you don't smell like daisies after that flight." I laugh at the look on her face as she swats at me.

"Hey, now you two. I thought we were done with this fighting over me." We both glare at him and he holds his hands up in surrender. "I'm just..going to go get the bags."

"Good idea, Scott." Peyton smirks as he walks away and she's not checking out his ass. Neither am I for that matter. Oh my, how have we grown.

"You aren't checking out his ass, are you?" She's giving me her best attempt at being a cop. She was never good at playing cops or robbers. She always gave up too quickly. With everything, except music, Lucas and me. Hm. I scoff and look at her indignantly.

"Peyton Sawyer. I'm hurt."


	2. Could You Take My Picture?

It's hours later, we've made the rounds and are staying at Nathan and Haley's. It's amazing how much you can miss people, places, without knowing it. We'd decided to go to Haley and Nathan's last and eat there since we were going to stay there anyway. Dinner was amazing, tense, but Haley can cook and mother like nobody's business. It was hard seeing them fractured like they are now. I know they probably don't know it, but I've envied them and their relationship for years. I'm a successful fashion designer, with more fans and wanna-be lovers and money than I know what to do with. I've got the fame, the money, everything. Everything but a home and happiness. I'd add family, 'cause there's no one I get to go home to at night, curl up with and talk to or just be with, but I know that's not completely true. My family's just in Tree Hill, where I haven't been for years. I'm working on changing so much now though. Like Lucas and Peyton. I haven't thought about them since he dropped off us and our luggage. And I most certainly haven't been thinking about LucasandPeyton. No, I've only been thinking about Jamie, and a little about Peyton, and a little less about Nathan and Haley and their marriage. I think I might just be growing. Even if I'm not, I'm breathing and getting through dinner. It's been getting easier, even with the elephant that is Nathan and his accident in the room, there's an ease and comfortability in this. Jamie helps a lot too. He's even made Nathan smile. The fact that that's an accomplishment is sad.

"It's time for bed, Jamie." I have to remember to tell Haley later that she's like the best mom ever and needs to adopt me.

"Aw, but, Momma!" I don't think anyone could be more adorable than Jamie when he whines. I don't know how Haley and Nathan can stand saying no to him. He runs off to go get ready after an amazing look from Haley. Maybe I'm glad she isn't my mother. We're all laughing at him, and smiling. Genuine smiles, it feels like it's been ages for me, and I look at all of them and wonder how long it's been for them and why we keep letting things get in the way. I wonder what Peyton's thinking, why she's smiling and why she isn't with Lucas right now.

"So." Haley leans forward, leaning on her elbows and locking her hands together as she stares us down. "What's up?"

I swallow and look at Peyton, not surprised that we both have the same look on our faces. Ah. Tutor-Mom is going to be Teacher-Mom soon. Maybe she feels the need to practice. Somehow Teacher-Mom really doesn't have the same ring to it.

"It was time to come home." I blink when I hear Peyton's soft voice. I hadn't quite expected that. She won't meet my eyes. Haley will and I feel like I'm in the principal's office again. Oh, she'll rock at this teaching thing.

"You know, I'm kind of having the bad sort of flashback to high school now. Totally feel like I'm being interrogated by the principal. I don't even want to know what sort of kinks you two are into." Ah. It's out of my mouth before I can stop it and it's just oh so awkward now. Where is Jamie when you need him? Ok, so Peyton's embarrassing ring tone will just have to do. I stare at her and am a little shocked that she still has that. She's blushing so hard right now it's hard not to laugh, so we just do.

"I can't believe you still have that ring tone, Peyton!" She furiously jabs at the buttons trying to get it to stop and I just keep laughing. She's glaring at me, and I laugh harder, she looks so funny through a haze of tears.

"Brooke Penelope Davis!" I give her an innocent smile and she starts laughing a little bit.

"Momma?" I guess Jamie's finally finished getting ready, I really don't want to say good-night to him.

"Oh!" I gasp in surprise and delight when Jamie skips back into the dining room in his pajamas. This kid just keeps getting better and better.

"C'mere big guy, give your Aunt Brooke a hug!" I hold him tight and look at Haley, mouthing that I wanted to keep him. She laughs and says no way.

"What?" We both laugh at everyone else's confusion, ah small little jokes between friends, there's nothing quite like it. I've missed that, and her and them and everything about here. Well. Maybe not the drama. Course, with my mother there was plenty of drama to deal with in New York too. It was just easier drama. It was about clothes and money and people and all these things that didn't really matter. Not love, and not my heart or anyone's happiness. It was just business. I was ok with that sort of drama. I wonder again if it was a good idea for me to come back to Tree Hill again.

"Nothing, buddy. It's time to get you all tucked in now though." He groans and gives her a look. She gives him one back and I'm amazed. I would have caved to him. Then again, I'd have caved to her too. Major props to Tutor Mom. I couldn't pull it off, I don't think. Maybe. I don't know. I probably shouldn't be thinking about kids now anyway.

"C-Can I?" I look up surprised at Peyton. She blushes under everyone's scrutiny, but Jamie beams and begs Haley. Maybe I was wrong about Jamie being the most adorable thing I've ever seen. That's not fair though, how could either of them compete with each other? Why should they? He's the most adorable boy, and she's Peyton. That works I guess.

"Of course you can, Peyt. Anytime." Haley sits back in her chair, pushing a piece of hair behind her ear, relaxing.

"Thanks." Jamie leads her by the hand to his room and Haley and I share confused looks.

"Don't look at me. Look at Jamie. Seriously, there's no way anyone on earth could be more adorable. You guys have done an amazing job." They stiffen slightly, and things are just a little bit more awkward. I have to talk to them later about this. "I'm gonna go help Peyton, we'll be back in a bit." She nods gratefully, and he looks away.

I wait a few moments in the doorway, watching Peyton tuck Jamie in and read him a story. God. Millions of dollars, countless hours and work couldn't do what boys and booze tried to do in high school either. I still have this void, this overwhelming need for something, and I haven't found it yet. Maybe I won't ever. Or maybe I had it and let it go. My heart breaks a little watching them, Jamie fell asleep next to Peyton while she read him a story. I'm not sure who I envy more at this point. She strokes his hair and places a soft kiss on his head before carefully getting out of bed.

"Hey." Her voice is soft and unquestioning.

"Hey." God, mine's hoarse. I hope she doesn't think I've been crying. She wraps me up in another hug and asks why I didn't come in.

"I...I couldn't. I didn't want to ruin the moment. I just..."

"Shh...Brooke, it's ok. I just was wondering why you were standing there for so long. Don't worry about it." I nod and blink back tears. I burrow my head into her neck and breathe her in. Leaning back she shuts the door before rubbing my back softly, letting me know she's here for me and I cry. I can't tell you why I'm crying, what I'm crying about, but I'm crying and I feel so weak and silly.

"Shh...Brooke it's ok. I'm here. It's ok." I pull away a few moments later, I don't think I've ever seen a more interesting floor. I'm going to have to ask Haley about it. Peyton grabs my chin gently and looks into my eyes and I water up again. I pull away from her and hide in the bathroom. I leave the door open and she waits in the door frame. She still knows me. After all this time and distance, she still knows me, and that means more to me than I thought it would.

"I...I was thinking, if it was ok with you that is, that maybe..." The water's on a low trickle and I'm trying to wash my face and she's definitely not getting to the point fast enough.

"I don't...I don't want to...Is it ok if we..." I look at her, confused and somewhat worried at how hard this was for her to say.

"Can I stay with you tonight?" I breathe in sharply and look at her a little bit shocked. She sees this but doesn't register the right things, so says forget it and turns away. I shut off the faucet quickly and grab her. She won't meet my eyes. What a habit we've picked up.

"Please." She looks up at me and her smile breaks my heart.


	3. I get weak, I get weary, I miss sleep

We both help Haley finish cleaning up as Nathan wheels off to skulk. Oh, what is it with these damn Scott boys and their broodiness? I shake my head as I put a plate in the dishwasher and try to figure out how to get them to talk about this, to make this better for them. They deserve better than this, Jamie deserves better than this.

"Thanks." I smile broadly at Haley and envelop her in a tight hug. I like that she's still polite.

"Y'know Brooke, if that's how you say you're welcome, I'm surprised you haven't been arrested for murder yet." I let go of Haley just enough to swat Peyton, barely connecting with her smiling and darting figure.

"That's cause they never find the bodies, Peyton. That's what all those bodyguards are for. Why do you think she never had the same date twice?" My mouth opens in shock at Haley. They're both laughing at me now, and I don't know what to say to that.

"If this is the type of welcome I get at home, I'd be better off going to jail." Ok, so that's a little lame but, it's been awhile. Haley rolls her eyes and grabs a bottle of wine and holds it up for us to see. I look at Peyton and back at the bottle and back to Peyton and then I grab some glasses. Peyton laughs and I can't believe I've forgotten how beautiful the sound of voice, her laugh is. Maybe wine isn't a good idea. Then I remember that we're sharing a bed tonight and I down my first glass fast. They're looking at me a little funny.

"Sorry. Forgot that it's not shot night at the bar." I pour their drinks and avoid looking into Peyton's face. I can do this. I can do this. Oh. Ok, so she didn't get the memo about waiting for me to put the glass down before taking it and I almost spill it when I feel her hand. She doesn't say anything, just searches my eyes for a moment before I look away.

We kick off our shoes and plant them on the coffee table. I panic for a split second, lifting them off a bit and look at Haley. She chuckles at me.

"It's fine, Brooke. Relax. You've been pretty tightly wound all night, you alright?" I swallow and take a sip of wine before assuring her I'm fine. I'm just home with Peyton and as bad as being away from her was, being near her and dealing with not being with her is so much worse in a way. I shrug and lean back into the couch, deciding that I'd be more comfortable with one leg curled up to me than with both on the table. It's easier to look at both of them as well, though I'm not sure that's such a good idea. This thing with Peyton, it's starting to get to me again. I thought I buried it well enough in New York but apparently years of burying can't stand even one hug from her.

"It's been rough, I guess. Being away from home, all that work and my...Victoria and everything. It's like it never ends. I love it, I really do. But it's a lot and it never stops." I know they both get it, get me in different ways but they still understand and it means the world.

"Do you know how long you're staying?" It's an innocent question, and I shouldn't be looking away from her, focusing on anything but her and looking guilty. Haley deserves an answer, I'm just not sure I have it right now. It depends on Lucas and Peyton and my mother. As usual, I don't really factor into this all that much. I'm glad when Peyton answers for us.

"We aren't sure now. Kind of playing it by ear for awhile." Haley nods and I focus somewhere nearer to her face, I don't want to be rude. I'm sipping my wine slowly, I don't think getting drunk would be a good idea, even though I want to. Alcohol as an escape, god I haven't done that since high school. Oh the things Peyton does to me.

"Well, you're both welcome to stay here till you figure it out. Jamie will love it. I know Nathan's not much company right now but." I want to smack him for making Haley sad, for doing this to her.

"Hey, don't worry about it. Really. How are you doing?" I ask her softly, as I grab her hand. She looks at me and I can see how she's been doing and I can tell she doesn't want to talk about it. I nod slightly and try to think of something to change the subject.

"So, Peyton. Why aren't you with Lucas right now?" Oh. Oh. That was not what I was looking for. Shit. Damn me and my big mouth and my inability to think things through. She shifts uncomfortably before answering.

"He's with Lindsey." Oh. Damn. I forgot about that, about her.

"Oh." She shrugs and finishes off her glass of wine, handing it to me to refill. I lean forward and our hands brush. I control myself a little better at the spark this time. Maybe sleeping together is a bad idea. Oh, bad choice of words there, Brooke. I hand her back the glass and stiffen a little at the contact. This isn't good. I'm probably not going to sleep tonight, and considering how much sleep I've gotten the last few days, I'm more than overdue for some. Haley's trying not to look at us or laugh, I'm not quite sure which but I know she'll bring it up soon if I don't figure out something to talk about and soon. Or Peyton can do some talking. I've missed her voice.

"I'm over him." I blink and I have to admit I'm not quite sure I heard that right, or understood it for that matter. Haley looks at her questioningly and she looks away. Lucas? She's over Lucas? When did this happen?

"Lucas. I'm not in love with him. Hell, I'm glad we didn't get married. It wouldn't have lasted." I think I have a will of iron, or maybe just really firm skin because my jaw isn't on the floor. I'm as shocked as a boy with a fork in a socket but I'm hiding it somewhat. Even Haley looks a little confused. Peyton just shrugs and seems uncomfortable under our gazes.

"Oh. So. Why did you come back then?" I can't help it. It just came out and I really need to work on that. It's so going to get me in trouble one day. She still isn't looking me in the eyes and it's starting to really bother me. Damn it, Sawyer, you don't get to do this to me, not after all this time.

"It was time to come home. Dead end job with no respect. No family, no real friends. I missed you guys. I missed Tree Hill." Haley smiles and grabs her hand, squeezing it before turning to me. Crap. Tutor-Mom, why can't you read minds?

"What about you, Brooke?" I try to hide the panic, and shrug. I can't explain. How can I explain that I'm still in love with Peyton when no one knows but me? How can I explain that I'm still a dumb little girl who has this stupid little hope that maybe she can love me like I love her. Crap.

"Same thing, I guess. I mean I love my job and my company but...I'm losing my passion." There. The other reason I'm back in Tree Hill. Peyton and needing to get away from the fact that I didn't love what I was doing anymore. It wasn't quite right anymore, and I wasn't sure why.

I guess no one really knows what to say to that, cause we sit in silence for awhile, finishing off the wine, enjoying being back and together again. Haley sighs and puts her glass down.

"I think it's time for me to go to bed. Jamie doesn't understand the concept of sleeping in yet." We chuckle and say our good-nights. I'm glad I had some wine, makes me less nervous. I'm not quite to the point where I've lost my inhibitions, but I'm comfortable. Peyton yawns and I look at her knowingly. She smiles and looks at me, rolling her eyes a little. I grab the glasses and the bottle, rinsing out the glasses before going back into the living room.

"Ready, Sawyer?" She nods, stands up and grabs my slightly outstretched hand. Oh, this was going to be a long night.


	4. Climbed up on the rainbow

I pull her into the room, she shuts the door and I feel this slight tug, like she wants me closer. Oh, that wine was so a bad idea. Damn Tutor-Mom. I drop her hand and I can feel her disappointment. Peyton, sweetie, what are you doing? It's like I can't figure her out anymore. I shuffle over to my luggage and realize that she's set up in the other room, she has no pajamas here. I grab an extra pair of shorts and tank top and toss them to her before turning back around. Why, why do I have to wear such revealing clothes? Why don't I wear mu-mu's or something else? Damn it!

Changing around her has never been this awkward. I don't know if she feels awkward too, but I sure as hell do. I can't remember how I managed it in high school. Maybe cause I really didn't have any choice, between practices and habits we had. We'd always done things the way we did, and I couldn't change them without confessing. I think denial helped a lot with it too. That and the constant drama and turmoil that surrounded us. I bite my lip as I turn around slowly. Oh, thank god she finished changing too.

"Figured you left all your stuff in the other room." She does that little smile of hers, that little shoulder shrug and god, it feels like I've forgotten what it feels like to be in love with this girl. New York had dulled the edges of this, made it a little hazy but it never made it go away. I used to wish sometimes that it would, but it never did. I feel like I don't know who I am without her near, without this love tugging me around.

"Shall we?" We end up on opposite sides of the bed, standing awkwardly, like we were some awkward just married religious couple that didn't know what sex was. Oh. I should so not be thinking of sex right now.

She's the first to break, to pull back the covers and slide into bed, I follow quickly, stiffly laying in bed as far away as I can get. I don't know what I'm hoping for more, for her to stay over there, or for her to sleep in my arms just like she used to. It was always easy to play off the accidental night-time grope somehow, she never pushed it, didn't even tease me about it all that much.

Ah. Ok, we're both still awake and as stiff as ever. We aren't getting anywhere like this. I can't sleep and I can't stand this anymore. I'm tired of being away from her, tired of hiding and lying to her. I'm tired of this, I'm tired and just the teensiest bit drunkish. Sort of, at least. Ok. Here goes nothing.

"Pey?" My voice is soft and unsure and I'm not sure of what I'm going to say. Seems to be a recurring theme tonight.

"Yeah?" I swallow and stare at the ceiling for a few moments before she shifts on the bed, raising up on one arm to look at me. I keep staring at the ceiling, take a deep breath and confess something I've been hiding from her for ages. I'm not sure why, now just seems like a good time.

"I'm gay." She flops down on her back and stares at the ceiling and I'm trying so hard not to panic. My voice wavers as I tell her she doesn't have to stay, it's ok, that I understand if she doesn't want to. She sighs and swallows some words a few times before talking.

"How long...how long have you known?" Ah, I don't know if I'm really ready for this. I start playing with the comforter.

"I kinda knew in high school, I just...was a fan of denial. I shoulda known something when I realized Cleopatra was a total hottie." She chuckles and I think that just might be ok.

"I figured it out after high school. There were all these models, and the guys were pretty and all over me but...I didn't want any of them. I know it sounds crazy but..." She turns on her side, arm under her pillow and looks at me. I'm totally leaving out the part about not really wanting anyone but her, but that's alright. This is probably more than enough for now.

"It's a little weird. I mean, you were all about the guys in high school. I never...I never noticed." She sounds guilty when she says she never noticed. I was always afraid she would, afraid that she'd realize I was in love with her and leave. I was afraid to lose her, afraid to admit that I was in love with her.

"Do you...are we..." I don't know how to do this, and I'm not sure I want to hear the answer.

"Brooke...I love you. Don't ever doubt that. This doesn't change anything." I close my eyes tightly, hoping that'll stop the tears. "Hey now,...it's ok. We're ok." She scoots closer and wraps her arms around me and for the second time tonight I cry into her neck, only this time its a sobbing relief type of cry.

I wake up in her arms, neck a little stiff but more well rested than I have been in a long while. Hey, no gropage, major points for me.

"Hey sleepy." I move my head to look at her smiling face. God. Peyton. God. I bury my head back into her neck and it tickles a little when she chuckles. She rubs small circles into my back and I sigh. I haven't been this content in longer than I can remember. Too bad it won't last. I want it to. I want to stay in this moment forever.

"We should probably get up soon. I think I smell coffee and bacon." I groan and pull away, stretching. I don't really want to get up, but I don't want to push this. I'm still not quite sure how ok she is with my confession last night.

"Brooke. I meant what I said last night. It's ok. We're ok." I turn to her slowly and smile. I don't doubt her, I'm just so scared of losing her. "I'm not going to go anywhere, you aren't going to lose me. You shouldn't have had to worry about telling me." She's plucking at imaginary pulls in the comforter, not looking me in the eyes. I love how well she knows me sometimes.

"C'mon, P. Sawyer, it's time for breakfast." I stand up and offer her my arm, she smiles as she takes it and we walk downstairs arm in arm. It feels like high school all over again. Haley's making breakfast and Jamie's drawing on the island. I feel like I'm floating.

"Hey you two, I was wondering when you were going to get up." I grin and pull out of Peyton's arm and grab Haley, spinning her around. Everyone's laughing and everything's perfect. I'm home. This is everything.

"This is explains why you're rich. You found the hang-over cure." I chuckle and stop spinning Haley. I keep holding her as she finishes the eggs and I'm happy.

"Momma, what's a hangover?" Ah, Jamie. I pull away and start looking through the cabinets to set the table.

"Something none of us have right now." Peyton's looking over his shoulder at his work. "This is a great drawing, Jamie." I glance at it on my way to the table when Haley stops me, says we'll be eating at the island. I stop in the middle of passing out the plates to really look at his drawing. It is good.

"You're in a good mood today." Haley slides into her chair after serving everyone. I beam and shrug.

"I'm home."


	5. Now hounds of love are hunting

Formatting messed up on me, I was in a rush and didn't watch it. Sorry. I always fail to meet expectations. Don't hold out much hope, please.

I have a new job, a new life, a new coast, plans to move and lots of work. I haven't written since my last update on any of my stories. I'm pitifully rusted.

* * *

"I'm home."

"Forever, Aunt Brooke?" I blink slowly as I turn to look at Jamie. I'm torn.

"We'll see, Jamie. For awhile." He nods and takes a bite of food after saying ok.

"I want you to stay."

"I know. And I will, Jamie. I will."

"With us?" I smile.

"No, I can't do that your parents. Gonna house hunt this week."

"With swords? I'm good with swords." Oh my. Oh my. oh my.

"Newspapers mainly. But after, we can make pirate hats." His eyes light up and he eats faster.

"Hurry, Aunt Brooke!"

"Jamie, don't eat too fast, you could choke."

I catch Peyton's eye as Haley talks to Jamie. She's quiet, but has a serene smile on her face.

"What about you, Peyton?" It falters, and I feel guilty.

"I, uh, I'm not sure yet."

"You can move in with me." It's out before I think of the implications. Before I think of the chance of refusal, before I think of the dates she'll go on, of the men that will come to the house. Of the draw of her being a few feet away from me. Of the chance that I'll bump into her fresh from the shower, or a million other things that will slowly kill me, kill blinks and beams.

"I'd love to, Brooke."

"Great." I'm pretty sure that if my smile was any bigger, my face would split. How did we get through high school with no one knowing I was in love with her?


	6. Staring at the Sun

"Ok, I went out and grabbed all the papers and housing guides I could find. My laptop's charged and ready to go. Oh! And I also got some new highlighters for us." I can't help but grin at Peyton's zeal for this.

"Uhm, I'll take these three and the pink one, and you can have those and the green one? Then we can switch."

"Ok. Sounds like a plan." I close my book and rearrange myself. I smile when I look up and see her concentrating, even though I'm slowly filling with dread.

The next few hours pass with sounds of pages flipping, keys clicking, highlighters and a few jokes here and there. There's a soft knock on the door and Haley quietly asking if she can come in. Peyton doesn't even look up when she answers.

"It's fine, Haley! We're decent." She's cute when she concentrates. Maybe we should have studied more when we were younger. I could do with having more memories of her swinging her feet in the air, concentrating on something.

"Hey. How's the hunting going?" I groan a little bit, and fall backwards in bed.

"That bad?"

"Apparently, we have different tastes in houses. Whoda thunk it?"

"It's a shame that your parents' sold their houses, and that they aren't on the market."

"I guess. There'd be a lot of old memories in them. I kind of want to make some new ones. A fresh start. As fresh as can be."

Haley nods before asking us if we have any dinner plans.

"Jamie is spending the afternoon with Skillz, I was thinking that maybe we could go out and grab a bite to eat."

"Sure. Let me just get dressed and we can head out."


	7. This love is all I have to give

I wasn't expecting us to get a bit tipsy, or for us all to stumble into the house, and I certainly wasn't expecting Nathan to be waiting for us, pure fury all over his face.

"Some mother you are." I stagger back at the venomous words and immediately reach for Haley, instead colliding with Peyton. I shake myself and step forward.

"Don't you dare. Don't you dare talk to her like that, Nathan Scott. Since we've been back we've barely seen you, barely spoken to you. Haley's the only one interacting with her son. Haley's an amazing mother. You, however, are just like your father."

I grab Haley and pull her upstairs and to our-my bedroom. She sits on the bed, in shock. We both kneel in front of her, waiting for her.

"He's never been this bad. He's been withdrawn and moody, but he's never been this mean."

Tears are slowly creeping out of her brimming eyes.

"Is he talking to anyone? Doing anything?"

"Just drinking."

"Oh Haley."

"I've tried. I've tried so hard, but I can't get through to him."

Moving slowly, I sit next to her on the bed and cradle her as she sobs. She doesn't deserve this. Jamie doesn't deserve this. I look over at Peyton and see the resolve in her face. She moves quietly and quickly, sneaking out of the door before Haley realizes anything. She's amazing when she's fierce. Haley slowly stops crying and just holds on. I almost jump when she speaks.

"Have you told her yet?"

"Have I what?" Haley pulls away from me a little, and I know she sees the panic I'm trying to hide.

"Brooke…" Saved by the door. Peyton comes in, incensed but breathing. By the time she's at the bed, she almost seems normal. I know better, and I think Haley does too.

"You should stay the night, Haley." She nods. "Here, let me get you some clothes." I rummage through my stuff until I find something for her to sleep in. After she slips out I look at Peyton.

"I could kick his ass up and down town for days."

She runs her hands through her hair and paces.

"Do…do you think you got through to him?" She shrugs.

"Honestly, I'm not sure."

"I'll try tomorrow. Maybe that will help."

"I hope so. I'm going to get changed, I'll be back." And now I'm alone. I should get changed. Instead, I sit. Contemplating. How much have we all changed? Are we still us? Or are we all strangers? If we met in other skins, would we ever recognize each other? Have we changed too much?


End file.
